me? muddled?

My modem, network card and router got fried last sunday and i have only just got reconnected. It was a truly impressive storm and am thankful that TM (formerly known as Telekom) has replaced my modem foc.

This month (April) is passing by pretty quickly and altho' I'd like to say that it has all been good, I think I should simply say that it has been fair...

First thing is, this email reminder on Job vs Ministry has got me reviewing my so called service to God...

JOB Vs MINISTRY

Some people have a JOB in the church; others involve themselves in a MINISTRY.
What's the difference?

If you are doing it just because no one else will, it's a JOB.
If you are doing it to serve the Lord, it's a MINISTRY.

If you quit because somebody criticized you, it was a JOB.
If you keep on serving, it's a MINISTRY.

If you'll do it only as long as it does not interfere with your other activities, it's a JOB.
If you are committed to staying with it even when it means letting go of other things, it's a MINISTRY.

If you quit because no one praised you or thanked you, it was a JOB.
If you stay with it even though nobody recognizes your efforts, it is a MINISTRY.

It's hard to get excited about a JOB.
It's almost impossible not to be excited about a MINISTRY.

If our concern is success, it's a JOB.
If our concern is faithfulness, it's a MINISTRY.

An average church is filled with people doing JOBs.
A great and growing church is filled with people involved in MINISTRY.

Where do we fit in? What about us?

If God calls you to a MINISTRY, don't treat it like a JOB.
If you have a JOB, give it up and find a MINISTRY.

God does not want us feeling stuck with a JOB, but excited and faithful to Him in a MINISTRY.

- Author unknown -

We all like to call what we do in church, SERVICE and MINISTRY. Think I have to seriously review the first criteria already.....

Being the coward that I am I shall now retreat to safer grounds like itinerary for the rest of the week.

Today is a public holiday and later, the family will be off to Times Square's Theme Park for the day. This is the birthday boy's request and we hope that he will have a good time!

Friday, it'll be Kindah Greening (we hope!) to speak to us. Prayerfully, he would indeed be a blessed speaker to our people!

Saturday, birthday boy has got a school trip to the National Museum while big bro will, again, be at school!!! sobs for Josh!

Now i am talking about CONNECTING with people. i think that it is vital and necessary for each of us to do so. Yet it is hard. I am not talking about the connecting as in chatting or even sharing but where we can see or feel what the other is feeling or at least reaching out by way of words, gestures... a conversation or time of being together where the heart can be reached. It's hard to explain. I think steady boyfriend/girlfriend or good friends can do it. Spouses and even family members can do it and have done it before but some no longer do it or find it hard to do.

Like when we have a conversation about general stuff, we don't really connect. We update each other, share an opinion or information. When we share about something that tugs at our hearts like a loved one, a situation, even work then yes, we can connect with another. It takes some giving to connect. Giving of yourself. A place of vulnerability cos sometimes, the person you talk to may not be able/ready to respond and connect with you.

I am talking about connecting cos i think relationships depend on it.

i haven't thought this one thru yet. may write more and better articulate it soon...

Offense, hurt and the like!

I have been hearing and in many a way, feeling these feelings as I enter into conversations with churched people more than those who are unchurched.

I wonder why this is so. I blame it on many things, like, Satan, the past, circumstances, people, people, people and people. Are people being too sensitive? Do we have expectations that are too high? Are we insensitive? Are we too this or not that enough? What happened to the LOVE that we profess Sunday after Sunday? Is this offense what really sets us apart and makes us holier than the unchurched?

Is there a difference between unchurched and unbelievers? Yes.

Many unchurched are those in the "hurt" and "offended" category... They are moving eventually to the "unbelievers" category if the churched ones don't watch out! So the churched are the ones with ALL THE PRESSURE to perform!

I really wish people could see past offense yet that is what is so LARGE and LOOMING in front of them. I wish I could take it away from them. I wish I could be their ALL SUFFICIENT savior! Really, I wish that! (the all-stupid me!)

When there are only 9 pot covers for 10 pots, there isn't much I can do no matter how much shuffling and juggling I do. You know, sometimes, it gets to me.... I am now officially offended by the offenses offended people experience (like it is any of my business!) I wish they would stop feeling the way they do. I wish I could make it go away or better yet, wish the things that happened to them never happened...

Alright... I know what I am supposed to do and say and behave, etc. but I am permitted to FEEL emotions so long as I work them out with God. That is what I am doing....

I am reading this book entitled, "Bait of Satan" by John Bevere a book NOT for the faint hearted as he really spells out much about being offended. (Things we harbour and even forget but when we see or talk to a particular someone or an unrelated event similar to a hurtful event in our past occurs, we just get upset for no apparent reason... he says that it is probably an undealt-with offense.....) Perhaps that is why things become GLARINGLY clear to me now. Since I have not finished reading this book, I shall not comment too much...

It is the better book by this author. Probably because I am reading it at the right season?! His other books, Breaking Intimidation and Thus Saith the Lord I didn't finish...

So, any lessons for me today? I am still learning but am willing to go thru this phase knowing that something good is going to come out of this, Lord!

Josh is sick and having his exams, PCK is recovering from laryngitis.

I would really love a shopping and a beachside holiday..... some new shoes, Laura Ashley outfits, laze around the pool side....