Mum in law and her surgery

Mum in law was admitted on 21 March for surgery for prolapsed vagina and bladder. It was a success and the doc hitched them both to some ligament on the pelvic bone! The bonus was that he did not have to cut her open at her old hysterectomy scar and did all the work from "below"!

That means that recovery is much faster! I hope she will be able to go home by tomorrow although the doc hasn't said anything. The other slight complication was that there was a hernia which he removed from her large intestines which were also protruding!

All in all, growing old isn't too exciting from this angle. I am thankful that she is well although she is experiencing some pain (which i would liken to post natal pains). The doc is able to give her mild pain killers for that and thus is no big issue. It was really hard for her to talk about this as it is an "embarrassing" problem but i am glad that she did speak up and finally agreed to get help for the condition!

Listen!

When I ask you to listen to me
and you start giving me advice,
you have not done what I asked.

When I ask you to listen to me
and you begin to tell me why I shouldn't feel that way,
you are trampling on my feelings.

When I ask you to listen to me
and you feel you have to do something to solve my problem,
you have failed me, strange as that may seem.

Listen! All I asked, was that you listen.
not talk or do, just hear my heart.
Advice is easy; I can get it from "Dear Abby"
And I can for myself; I am not helpless.
Maybe discouraged and faltering, but not helpless.

When you do something for me that I can and need to do for myself,
you contribute to my fear and weakness.

But when you accept as a simple fact that I do feel what I feel,
no matter how irrational,
then I can quit trying to convince you
and can get about the business of understanding
what's behind this irrational feeling.
And when that's clear, the answers are obvious,
and I don't need advice
Irrational feelings make sense when we understand what's behind them.

Perhaps that's why prayer works because God listens.
And He empowers me to work it out myself.

So please listen and just hear me. And if you want to talk,
wait a minute for your turn,
and I will listen to you.

Anonymous (adapted)

Another gem from sister Mei Lin...

Please hear what I'm not saying....

I found this in some old notes of a seminar I attended before called LISTENING HEARTS by sister Chong Mei Lin in 2002.

A familiar feeling? Yes, I noticed that the grammar isn't perfect... Look beyond lar....

Please hear what I'm not saying
- Author unknown

Don't be fooled by me
Don't be fooled by the face I wear.
For I wear a mask, I wear a thousand masks.
Masks that I'm afraid to take off.
And none of them are me.

Pretending is an art that's second nature with me;
But don't be fooled, for God's sake dont' be fooled!
I give you the impression that I'm secure
That all is sunny and unruffled in me.
Within as well as without.
That confidence is my name and coolness is my game.
That the water's calm and I'm in command.
And that I need no one.
But don't believe me.

My surface may seem smooth, but my surface is my mask.
My ever-varying and ever-concealing mask.
Beneath lies no smugness, no complacence.
Beneath dwells the real me, in confusion, in fear, in aloneness.
But this I hide.
I panic at the thought of my weakness and fear of being exposed.
That's why I frantically create a mask to hide behind.
A nonchalant, sophisticated facade to help me pretend.
To shield me from the glance that knows.
But such a glance is precisely my hope!

That is, if it's followed by acceptance.
If it's followed by love.
It's the only thing that can liberate me from myself.
From my own self-built prison walls.
From the barriers that I so painstakingly erect.
It's the only thing that will assure me of that I can't assure myself...
That I am really something...
But I don't tell you this, I don't dare.... I'm afraid to.
I'm afraid your glance will not be followed by acceptance and love.
And your laugh will kill me.

I'm afraid that deep down I'm nothing, that I'm just no good.
And that you will see this and reject me.
So I play my game, my desperate pretending game.
And my life becomes a front.

hail storm and bird park....

yesterday in usj 16, there was hail! bits of ice came down with the rain.

today, we went to the bird park in kl. it was a good visit altho i do feel sorry for some of the birds especially those that were caged up. ok, so all of them are caged up so to speak but at least some can roam freely in a larger enclosure..

Where have all the flowers gone...

A classic folk song that I love, especially the version by Peter, Paul and Mary... Am listening to some of these songs now and thought I might post the lyrics as I find it somehow so meaningful...

WHERE HAVE ALL THE FLOWERS GONE
words and music by Pete Seeger
performed by Pete Seeger and Tao Rodriguez-Seeger

Where have all the flowers gone?
Long time passing
Where have all the flowers gone?
Long time ago
Where have all the flowers gone?
Girls have picked them every one
When will they ever learn?
When will they ever learn?

Where have all the young girls gone?
Long time passing
Where have all the young girls gone?
Long time ago
Where have all the young girls gone?
Taken husbands every one
When will they ever learn?
When will they ever learn?

Where have all the young men gone?
Long time passing
Where have all the young men gone?
Long time ago
Where have all the young men gone?
Gone for soldiers every one
When will they ever learn?
When will they ever learn?

Where have all the soldiers gone?
Long time passing
Where have all the soldiers gone?
Long time ago
Where have all the soldiers gone?
Gone to graveyards every one
When will they ever learn?
When will they ever learn?

Where have all the graveyards gone?
Long time passing
Where have all the graveyards gone?
Long time ago
Where have all the graveyards gone?
Covered with flowers every one
When will we ever learn?
When will we ever learn?

©1961 (Renewed) Fall River Music Inc
All Rights Reserved.

i have been blogging for over a year now...

i just checked out my first entry and lo and behold it's been more than a year!

also, my internet connection has been totally unreliable! it's been off and on the last couple of weeks and the last time it was out was 2 march till today!

dilemma time....
son no. 1 music theory exam is supposed to be on 11 march (camp day) and now i find out it might be on 13 march instead (last day of camp) so we might end up NOT going to camp after all! sobs sobs sobs!!

upset now.. gotta go brew some...

what else i learnt...

1. For they sow the wind, and they reap the whirlwind - hosea 8:7a. the law of increase applies to both good and evil!
2. Natural - in physics, "for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction."
3. Spiritual - "whatever a man sows, this he will also reap." gal 6:7 (NAS)
4. Luke 6:42b-48
5. Salvation is a greek term meaning "wholeness" or "healing". it is an ongoing process of healing that began when we first received Jesus. "work out your salvation with fear and trembling for it is God who is at work in you, both to will and to work for His good pleasure - Phi 2:12b-13
6. Inner Healing is the ongoing, internal process of sanctification and transformation in a person born anew - 1Peter 2:1-3
7. We need to DIE TO SELF for God to be able to renew us. He does not want to repair us.
8. We can only obtain healing from God if we want to and hate the sin enough to want to stop!
   
9. Pray aloud!
10. It is important to confess our sins to one another and pray for each other.. - James 5:16
11. fear = faith for things we don't like!

to be continued...