my fears..

Pastor Mal talked about fear of witnessing today. (Acts 1:8 tells us that the Lord has called us to witness to all) I must admit that I too have a fear of witnessing and ultimately the fear is of being rejected or being told that I am wrong for believing in God.

He said that we ourselves need to be convinced and convicted that what and who we believe in before we can go try convince anyone else.... how true, pastor!

I have been musing over "fear" especially since I have Joel, who is fearful of the stage and performing, "fear" and "shy" has been used interchangeably sometimes...

What does "fear" stem from? Specifically I guess it's fear of failure or fear of making a mistake... and being judged or ridiculed...

I suppose I too am afraid of not being able to answer tough questions on my God and being ridiculed and falling short of the glory of God (or is it myself?). Fear of being rejected and told that I believe in what I believe and they will believe in what they believe?

I am not good at making friends, I am not a friendly sort. I like the people who I know and do not feel any lack of companionship. Comfortable? I guess so.... And are all the people in the circle of friendship, family, etc. already believers? I wish! So they are my W-I-P. So, should I then just concentrate on them and forget about the rest of the world? I wish I could but I reckon God would say "no" to that so, I suppose I shall have to keep on making new friends, whether I like it or not...

This writing is a random musing with no real point to make except to remind myself that I ought to witness despite myself and my so-called values which seems so right and comfortable but, not of God! Thank you, Lord for this timely reminder!