Garden of Gethsemane....

I'm beginning to appreciate just a little of what Jesus must have been going through when he was in the Garden of Gethsemane. The agony of knowing what is ahead, the dreading, asking God to relieve him of what he had to do for us.

Many a time when I have a difficult thing to do, I gripe to God about it and then gripe some more. If I can procrastinate, I do but most times I can't.

Making a stand on a decision that was not mine alone, I am now in that Garden. Simply bringing up an issue for decision and standing by the decision that was made en bloc makes me feel like I am in my very own Garden. Of course, I can't compare myself with what Jesus went through there, but like I said, I can now have a glimpse from the window of my broken heart of what He must have felt like.

So who's crucifying me? Not those who worked, not those who slaved, they did it for God. It's the onlookers, the watchers, waiting to judge while they predict the next doomsday and say, "I knew it would happen!" Loving that feeling of thinking they are right. "That's why, I never got involved, so I wouldn't get my hopes up too high", while still others, simply stay away, afraid they'd be implicated and lastly, those who fear the wrath of those who watch and judge.

I wonder who I am doing this all for? For a split second, I forget. Then, it's back to Gethsemane for me to do what I must....