the last moments of 2004....

I thought I ought to just pen down a little more before the year is over...

It is a glad reprieve since Christmas activities have concluded that I actually have the opportunity to read, reflect, plan and spend time with the kids getting them into some form of routine just before school resumes....

I read "Tuesdays with Morrie" by Mitch Albom and cried much.... I think this book is wonderful and would definitely recommend it to all for a worthwhile read....

My thoughts constantly return to the year that I had and altho many including PCK believe that we should not do things on an annual basis, meaning that if things need to be done, why wait at all? I agree but can't help simply reviewing all the same.

I was beating myself up with things I could have, should have, didnt do or should have done better.... I felt ppl had placed certain expectations on me and I had failed them and this is not a nice feeling indeed!

I had, as usual, asked God, angrily, what it is that He wanted, why couldn't I have foreseen, known better, this and that...

Then the thought of my being too hung up with what people thought of me, people's expectations, my own high regard of myself and PRIDE came zooming by, coming to a dead halt right in front of my face!

I was forced to confront the demon within that sought to soak itself in activities and things to DO... sigh, as usual lar, me!

Then, something I shall call realisation came over me, that this was a life long quest and I should not be in a great hurry to accomplish... somethings just cannot be rushed... relationships, things out of my control, other people, other people's choices simply cannot be RUN by me!

Once again, I was reminded of my priorities, to keep to them faithfully and obey despite my mind's eye telling me to do otherwise.... I shall once again surrender and willingly subject myself to the uncertain winds which the LORD shall take me through.... (note: He shall take me thru!)

Praying for another exciting Year in the LORD!