running away....

I've running away from having to put down in words what my new year resolution(s) are... am still thinking... what if I can't do it thru out 2005, would i be a failure?

Also, this has been an ozzie weekend for me. Have an ozzie house guest and 2 ozzie farewell dinners for friends who are headed there.... for good! sigh!

Don't like farewells. They seem so final. I am lousy at goodbyes cos it would break my heart if I thought that I would not be able to see someone ever again.... I usually just don't think too much about it so that it won't prick.

Speaking up/out without fear or favour vs speaking or keeping silent in love... I am all for the latter but speaking out without fear or favour requires a lot of strength. Mayhaps i should blend in a tad of tact and buckets of love. Think that would be easier to swallow for the recipient. My million dollar Q is will I be able to take it? I mean I should be able to receive the same stuff I dish out, no?

Not really able to articulate how I feel now. Even my thoughts are jumbled up. Maybe getting new car today... Wanna do some repair paintwork around the house.... want to re-do the stencil work around driveway walls. Need to re-do lawn, maybe convert it to a rocky patch cos of the dog and cat!

Also, do you notice that the air around church seems different? Can't really explain what I mean, just that it has changed some... Wondering about what it is exactly that is different? Service yesterday was something else. I just love to see the Lord work in and thru people. It is just a beautiful sight.

My heart is also troubled by death. Death of loved ones... How it is a true test for all of us when someone really special and precious is taken away from us. How we talk to God about it and what we say and do thereafter... tsunami, cancer, many or few at one time....